


Picture Perfect

by josthockeythings



Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Pining, obviously, penpals, reunited, they're idiots
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-14
Updated: 2020-02-14
Packaged: 2021-02-26 11:25:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22637824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/josthockeythings/pseuds/josthockeythings
Summary: JT gets a new job in Colorado. He is reunited with a penpal he had back in middle school, one he had a crush on and maybe still does.
Relationships: J. T. Compher/Alexander Kerfoot
Comments: 3
Kudos: 32
Collections: 2 Hots: #boysarehot Avs Valentines 2020 fic challenge





	Picture Perfect

**Author's Note:**

  * In response to a prompt by [eafay70](https://archiveofourown.org/users/eafay70/pseuds/eafay70) in the [2hots](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/2hots) collection. 

> This was prompted by eafay70 for the boys are hot Valentine's challenge. I had fun writing this! As always my boys are idiots and don't know how to communicate feelings. This is mostly just angsty pining. 
> 
> As always, if you found this by Googling yourself or someone you know please turn back now. These characters, while based on real people, are fictional and everything in this work is fictional. 
> 
> Thank you to my beta missesbean for sticking with me through all of this nonsense. 
> 
> I hope y'all enjoy!

Maybe it’s weird. JT should probably stop carrying it around. But at this point, it has sentimental value, and for JT it would almost be weirder if he stopped carrying it around everywhere. It has lived in his backpack for several years. Then, in his sophomore year of high school, he got a wallet and it lived there. And there it had lived ever since.  
  
He opens his wallet and drags the folded photo from its depths. He unfolds it and stares at it for a moment. The face still as young as it has ever looked. The pudgy face of a middle school boy still trying to come into himself, puberty having a full hold on his features, the acne as proof. It’s not like this boy was pretty by any standards, but at the same time, JT could see the sharp outline of what probably turned into a strong jawline. The once long, scraggly, dark hair is probably well-trimmed and beautiful now. He might even have facial hair.  
  
JT shakes himself and shoves the folded photo back into his wallet. This is stupid. He doesn’t understand how he’s still hung up on his middle school crush. It’s not even like they live in the same country, have ever lived in the same country! For god's sake. They only ever spoke through pen and paper. They were middle school penpals. They never laid eyes on one another let alone spoke to one another. Not in the way that matters anyway. JT isn’t truly hung up. He’s just… wishing, with hope and his heart, for something that will never amount to anything.  
  
It’s just something JT holds onto that he probably shouldn’t.  
  
“JT!”  
  
He looks over where Jesse is standing, head visible above the racks of clothes. “What?”  
  
“You need to try on this shirt!” She holds up some shirt with a ridiculous pattern. It’s pretty ugly.  
  
He rolls his eyes. “You aren’t serious, are you?”  
  
Jesse waggles her eyebrows at him.  
  
“That’s how I know it’s time to be done.”  
  
“But we’ve barely gotten you enough clothes for a week at your new, fancy job,” Jesse whines as JT walks over to her.  
  
“It’s really not that fancy. What we’ve got will be fine.”  
  
Jesse huffs, “Fine.”  
  
JT takes the shirt from her hand and goes to hang it back up and follows Jesse to the front of the store. She grabs a hat on the way and places it on his head. “There.”  
  
JT rolls his eyes. The thing he doesn’t have in his collection of clothes she insisted he needed for his job was a hat. And, well, he supposes he can let his sister have this one.  
  
  
His new apartment in Denver feels so large, so empty, even with his sister sleeping in the guest room down the hall. He stares at the ceiling of his own bedroom. He doesn’t know why he turned down the offer to work at the start-up nearer to home. Maybe because he’d gone to school so close, he felt the need to get away. He almost regrets it. Denver has been wonderful so far. He has no real reason to regret it. Just homesickness and lack of friends. The friends will come in time, he knows. And hopefully, the homesickness will go away too.  
  
  
The next morning, JT is sitting in his car. He’s parked in the garage of his new job. It’s kind of wild to see his name on a sign marking his parking spot. He’s just a new tech engineer. He doesn’t think he should have all this yet. But, when he had talked to Bednar on the phone after his final interview, Bednar laid out all the perks that came with his position and had sent them all over in an email as well. Ever thorough as the CEO of a tech start-up would be. He’d also mentioned something about someone new joining, a financial advisor or something? JT isn’t sure, but it sounds like their orientation will be happening for both of them today.  
  
He takes a deep breath and steps out of his car, carrying his bag for the day. He takes the elevator up to the lobby floor. The lobby isn’t loud, but it isn’t quiet either. Cars zoom past outside, the sound partially muffled. It’s the beginning of the day, so many people are coming in and out, and light music is playing. But to JT -who feels on the verge of a nervous breakdown- it all sounds twenty times louder with twenty times more sound.  
  
Then, everything stops. It’s like the air has been punched out of him like there’s nothing else in the world because JT’s eyes land on someone he’d never thought he’d see standing in front of him. He’s not that tall and definitely not taller than JT, but JT never imagined him that way. He’s almost perfectly sized. His body build matches his height. He’s got muscle without being too incredibly thick, but still thick. His hair is this long, luscious, curling, black flow that belongs on a prince and his beard is just the right side of scruffy. His grey-green eyes are something else entirely. They’re probably the only part of him that hasn’t changed from the picture tucked away in JT’s wallet. They hold the color of Lake Michigan in them, reminding him of home in the most painful and wonderful way. They show the storms that roll over the water, turning it a sea green, but at the same time, reflect the grey-blue water on a clear, warm summer day. The kind of day JT wishes he could spend on the sand with this beautiful man. His jawline has become so defined since his middle school years. JT wants to run his tongue along it to feel the strong jaw and the scruffy beard.  
  
Then, he chuckles to himself. Because, what caught his eye in the first place, the reason he even noticed him standing there, was the stupid fucking shirt Jesse almost got him to buy yesterday. It’s still as horrid as yesterday, but for some reason, JT can’t bring himself to hate it, not the way he did yesterday in the store, that’s for sure.  
  
He swallows on reflex. Alexander turns his smile on JT at that moment, realizing JT is probably his training mate. There’s no recognition in his eyes. No spark that makes JT think he’s remembered, and it stings more than he thought it would.  
  
JT is still blinking at Alexander, who’s walking toward him when their boss appears. “JT! Alex! Welcome!” he says hands out before him, welcoming them to the job and to his office. JT sees Alexander swallow and hesitate at the nickname. He’s thrown back to the second letter he had received. The first paragraph was all about how he hated the nickname Alex and would never go by it. He seemed furious that JT has called him that in his first letter to him but still wrote with a calmness. Something JT remembers noting as mature and mildly terrifying for a middle schooler to possess.  
  
He licks his lips, and says, “No, it’s just Alexander,” instead of Alexander himself. Alexander’s head whips to look at JT, who he’d previously thought to be a brand new acquaintance and not someone to be correcting nicknames, especially to their boss. Bednar eyes JT thoughtfully for a moment, but JT’s whole attention is on Alexander. Alexander’s face still holds the confusion. There’s no recognition. JT is sure he was required to send at least his school photo to Alexander as they wrote to each other all those years ago. But he shouldn’t have expected Alexander to remember him, or even to have kept the picture the way he did.  
  
Finally, Bednar nods, breaking the tension between the two. “Alright. JT, Alexander. Let’s get your training rolling. You’re both critical to our summer busy season, and we want you on the floor helping as soon as possible.” They follow Bednar as he makes for the elevator.  
  
It’s an awkward ride up. As much as JT wants to keep looking at Alexander’s beautiful form, he knows he shouldn’t. But he can feel Alexander’s eyes on him, probing for something. What, JT isn’t sure.  
  
Bednar leads them out of the elevator into a glass-walled office. The secretary smiles as they walk by, his desk parked just outside the glass walls. JT notices his crooked smile and dark curly hair, and if the man of his dreams wasn’t walking in front of him, he might be inclined to pick up a conversation later and possibly get lunch. It says “Tyson Jost” on his nameplate. JT files it away for potential further use.  
  
There are two chairs in front of Bednar’s desk, both leather and cushioned. JT meets Alexander’s eyes as they sit down. He can’t read anything there. He seems to have put on a mask of calm. Or maybe he’s not the type to hang onto things, and he no longer cares who JT is or how he knows of the nickname. Or maybe, in the smallest part of his heart, JT lets himself hope Alexander has figured it out.  
  
“Alright boys,” Bednar says as he sits down. “It’s fairly simple. You both know what you’ve been hired for. Granted, you’re both in very different departments, so I’ll keep my spiel short. We’re a pretty tight-knit group of people here. We take pride in what we do. I expect the same from you. Learn about your coworkers, become a part of the community, really be proud of the work you do here. We’re here to make people’s lives better. We’re developing technology that will improve the quality of life. I think you’ll find yourselves happy here.”  
  
JT smiles at Bednar in his obvious pause.  
  
“Your coworkers will give you more information when you get to your desks. But, please, feel free to ask me anything you need. My assistant, Tyson will show you to your departments.” He smiles a clear dismissal. They get up together, awkward about how they navigate out of the office, or maybe it’s just JT who is awkward.  
  
Tyson is waiting for them outside the office, clipboard and papers in hand. “Hey, guys! Welcome!”  
  
JT smiles, Tyson’s energy infectious.  
  
“So, let me guess,” Tyson holds his chin as he looks between the two of them, eyebrows cocked. “You’re JT,” he says looking directly at JT, “and you’re Alex,” he says whipping to look at Alexander.  
  
JT coughs and Alexander quickly says, “Alexander.”  
  
Tyson’s eyebrows knit together. “Not a nickname guy then, huh?” he asks.  
  
Alexander shakes his head. “Not exactly. Just not that one. Had some hockey nicknames growing up that are chill.”  
  
Tyson eyes light up and JT’s center warms remembering their lengthy conversations as middle school boys both in love with hockey.  
  
“You played hockey?” Tyson asks.  
  
Alexander nods sheepishly. “Yeah. Through college. Wasn’t great, but good enough.”  
  
“Dude that’s awesome! I did too. I’m from Canada so I think it’s like mandatory or something,” Tyson jokes.  
  
Alexander smiles a little. “Me too. Vancouver. You?”  
  
“St. Albert,” Tyson answers bobbing his head.  
  
“Tyson!” Bednar barks. “Get moving!”  
  
Tyson’s eyes go comically wide and he giggles. “Let’s walk and talk.” They follow behind Tyson as they get moving through the company floor. “JT, where are you from?” Tyson asks.  
  
“Northbrook, Illinois,” JT answers. His eyes flick over to Alexander. His face gives nothing away. Either he has no idea who JT is, or he already knew. Nothing on his face gives away any kind of recognition. It takes everything in him not to wince at the pain it brings.  
  
“Where’s that?” Tyson asks as they round a corner.  
  
“Near Chicago.”  
  
“Ah! Neat! How are you finding Colorado? Both of you?”  
  
“It’s nice. Love the mountains,” Alexander says.  
  
Tyson chuckles. “That’s what everyone says. You got anything more original?” Tyson asks, glancing back at JT.  
  
JT thinks a moment before saying, “Is it more original to say that I expected more mountains?”  
  
That gets Tyson to pause before bursting out in laughter. “Yes, actually. That’s great.” He wipes a tear from his eye. Real or not, JT isn’t sure.  
  
“Well, if either of you wants to hang out or get lunch or anything feel free to ask. I know all the good spots in town.”  
  
JT nods while Alexander says, “I’ll probably take you up on that.”  
  
“Well, Alexander, man with few nicknames, this is your stop. Hope you have a good day, and come find me if you wanna get lunch! There’s a great sandwich shop we can walk to!”  
  
Alexander nods and waves slightly before turning and walking into a large room with glass walls. JT notices the lack of walls within it, everyone seeming to talk to one another. His breath catches when he sees Alexander looks back for a moment, catching JT’s eye with a soft smile.  
  
They start to walk away, continuing down the hallways of the office.  
  
“So, what’s up there?” Tyson asks, sidling up to JT’s shoulder.  
  
JT squints at his curious face. “What do you mean?”  
  
“Do you two know each other or something? Because I haven’t felt that much tension between two people since… well since it took the entire office to get Nate and EJ together.”  
  
JT hesitates for a moment, unsure of what to say. He’s only just met Tyson, and what’s between him and Alexander is long over and shouldn’t be a thing today. But apparently it is.  
  
“Come on, spill. What is it?” Tyson asks eagerly. He clearly wants some new office gossip, but JT isn’t sure if he wants to give it or not.  
  
He swallows and shakes his head. “It’s stupid really.”  
  
“That’s the best kind,” Tyson says, grinning wildly. They’ve come to a stop in the hallway where there’s seemingly no one around.  
  
JT takes a deep breath. “We… uh… we were middle school penpals. I had a kid’s crush on him back then. It was kind of wild to see him here. I’m pretty sure he doesn’t remember who I am.”  
  
Tyson chuckles. “I wouldn’t be so sure, bud. That tension wasn’t one-sided. If he doesn’t know who you are, he’s definitely into you.”  
  
JT scoffs. “How can you tell that in the five minutes you’ve known us?”  
  
Tyson shrugs. “Call it a gift.”  
  
“Well, I’ll just take your word for it.”  
  
Tyson smiles, and they start walking again. “You’ll come to lunch with us then?”  
  
JT sighs then nods. Tyson beams. “Perfect. Meet in the lobby,” he says as they stop outside another glass wall with two doors. “And have a great first day. Here is where I hand you off to Naz. He’ll get you situated with the other techs.”  
  
JT turns to see a tall man with dark hair slicked back and wearing a navy suit walking towards them.  
  
“Hey, Tys! This my new guy?”  
  
Tyson nods. “Have fun. Good luck. See you at lunch.” That’s all JT gets before Tyson is scuttling back down the hallway.  
  
Naz chuckles. “He already got you roped into lunch, huh?”  
  
JT nods sheepishly.  
  
“Don’t worry about it. Tyson just likes to know everyone. He’s friends with everyone in the office. It helps that’s he’s like the first person new guys come in contact with besides the big boss.” Naz claps JT on the shoulder. “Let’s get you set up.”  
  
  
  
JT feels so overwhelmed by lunch he’s glad he’s going out with Tyson and Alexander, no matter how nervous he knows he’s going to be. It’ll be an incredibly welcome break from the exhausting first half of the day.  
  
Tyson is waiting in the lobby, avidly talking up Alexander who looks to be half paying attention. As JT starts to walk over to the two of them, Alexander looks up and catches JT’s eye. JT has to focus really hard to keep himself from tripping over his own feet. Alexander offers him a small smile which he returns.  
  
“There you are!” Tyson exclaims. “We were beginning to wonder if you’d ditched us for people in the tech department.  
  
JT shakes his head, coming to a stop between Tyson and Alexander, completing the triangle. “I would never.”  
  
“Good,” Alexander says softly firmly.  
  
JT feels his heart shudder at the word. It’s just one word. It shouldn’t shake him to the core the way it has.  
  
“Alright. Let me show you this bomb-ass sandwich place.” Tyson drags them outside and down the street. The shop reads Snarf’s in big blue letters. Inside the place is painted in bright, neon colors. JT doesn’t know what to think of it. Tyson goes right up to the counter and starts ordering. Alexander hangs back with JT, arms crossed, staring up at the menu.  
  
“This is quite a place he brought us to, huh?” JT says.  
  
Alexander turns his head to look at him. He nods once. It’s a barely-there moment, but JT is so keyed in on everything Alexander is doing, he doesn’t miss it. “It’s weird.”  
  
“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean it’s bad.”  
  
Alexander shakes his head softly. “No, it doesn’t.”  
  
“Come on guys! Pick something! Everything’s good!”  
  
JT hesitantly walks to the counter and gets a roast beef and provolone sandwich with potato salad and a fountain drink. Alexander orders after and they go sit at a table to wait for their sandwiches. Tyson gets them talking about their mornings, each describing how it went, who they met, etcetera. JT hangs onto every word of Alexander’s story, almost missing his order being called out. Tyson kicks his shin, not overly hard, and he jumps to get his sandwich.  
  
“So,” Tyson says, mouth full of sandwich when JT sits back down, “you got anyone?” He’s looking directly at Alexander. Something curls in JT’s stomach, knowing that Tyson asked for his benefit.  
  
Alexander shakes his head and sips at his iced tea. “No. Haven’t for a while.”  
  
“Aww, buddy. Why’s that?” Tyson asks, hand propping up his chin. If it weren’t for the fact that JT fessed up to him in the hallway this morning, JT would chalk it up to his need for gossip. Maybe it’s a little bit of both.  
  
“I broke up with my girlfriend halfway through the year last year. We were both moving onto other things in our life. Besides, I figured moving somewhere new would be the perfect place to do some more exploring, like, well, sexually.” He doesn’t seem embarrassed about the words he’s speaking, but they don’t seem to come naturally to him either.  
  
Something opens in JT’s heart. If nothing else, he can hold onto the fact that Alexander is interested in guys as well. He meets Alexander’s gaze for a moment before being pulled into another conversation by Tyson.  
  
  
  
Tyson is chattering away on their walk back to the office. JT hangs back on the sidewalk, letting Alexander walk next to Tyson. Then, before they turn a corner just before the office, Alexander looks over his shoulder at JT. JT blinks a moment, staring back at him. There’s something in Alexander’s eyes. He can’t quite tell what though.  
  
When they get into the lobby, they quickly lose Tyson to other coworkers he wants to talk to. They end up as the only ones on the elevator up to their floor. JT glances over and sees Alexander staring at him. JT swallows harshly, nerves building in his stomach like a small burst of fireworks.  
  
“Do you want to get drinks Friday after work?” Alexander asks.  
  
JT blinks almost not believing that he didn’t imagine those words coming out of Alexander’s mouth.  
  
“You are the JT I think you are, right?” he asks after JT doesn’t respond.  
  
JT nods quickly, probably too quickly. “Yeah, I’d love to.”  
  
Alexander smiles. “We have a lot to catch up on it seems.”  
  
JT’s heart sings the rest of the elevator ride.  
  
  
After that, the weekend can’t come fast enough. JT feels antsy throughout the week. He manages to focus at work, but lunches with Tyson and Alexander, he’s a bundle of nerves, barely able to keep up with the conversation. At home, it’s worse. He can’t see to find anything to do to settle his mind. He feels so amped on adrenaline, like he’s at the top of a roller coaster that just won’t drop. He knows he’s not paying as much attention to Jesse when he’s home as he should. She’s leaving soon, and he should be spending time with her.  
  
Jesse punches his shoulder when he drops her off at the airport on Wednesday. “You better tell me how it goes on Friday,” she says.  
  
He nods, then pulls her into a hug. “I’m gonna miss you, bud.”  
  
“Same here.” She pulls away and smiles at him before dragging her bag out of the trunk of his car and taking off towards her terminal. She doesn’t turn around to look one last time, and he doesn’t expect her to. That’s not Jesse.  
  
He gets into his car and drives home to deal with his anxious energy by himself.  
  
  
  
Friday finally does roll around and JT is giddy with excitement. He has loud music playing all the way to work too early in the morning. He picks up coffee and donuts for everyone on the way, aware of how early he is. He wasn’t able to sleep last night. He feels like a kid on Christmas morning. He doesn’t know what to expect, but he can’t help but be excited. He smiles at all his coworkers like normal but he’s jittery all day, bouncing his leg and fidgeting with anything he can find.  
  
Naz appears behind him when there’s still only an hour until lunch. “You okay man?”  
  
JT nods. “I’m fine.”  
  
Naz eyes him. “Okay. You just look like you’re about to shake out of your body or something, so I thought I’d come check.”  
  
JT nods. “Thanks, man, but I’m great so no need to worry.”  
  
Naz raises an eyebrow but doesn’t say anything more before he walks away. JT knows he’s distracted but there’s nothing he can do about it. They wouldn’t understand.  
  
He smiles brightly at Tyson and Alexander when he joins them for lunch. He can’t help but glance at Alexander every few seconds. If he notices (which JT is sure he does) he doesn’t let on. Tyson, however, is looking at JT like he’s lost his mind. Maybe he has. The ultimate crush of JT’s entire life is going out with him tonight.  
  
JT gets a text from Alexander later in the afternoon.  
  
_Do you want to just go after work? Or meet somewhere a little while after?_  
  
JT doesn’t know what to make of that. Is Alexander just as eager as he is? Or does he want to get whatever it is over with quickly? JT doesn’t want to dwell on that thought. What does JT want to do? On one hand, he very much wants to just go out with Alexander right away. He wants to spend as much time with him as possible. But, on the other hand, he could go home, change, freshen up. Really make himself look presentable, dateable. JT shakes his head. Alexander sees him in his work wear all the time. It’s not like he doesn’t know what JT looks like or needs to be impressed. Alexander knows him. Maybe not entirely, not the way JT wants to know him, but they do know each other. Besides, if he goes home, despite how excited he is, he’s afraid he might chicken out.  
  
_Let’s go right after work. We could Uber together._  
  
JT fidgets, waiting for Alexander’s answer. He doesn’t have anything else he can do. He can’t focus on work, not like this. He’s too anxious and nervous and excited to do anything but think about Alexander. He almost pulls out the picture, but he doesn’t. It takes every ounce of will in his body, but he doesn’t.  
  
His phone dings on his desk. He has to physically force himself from lunging for it.  
  
_Sounds good. Where did you want to eat?_  
  
JT hesitates. He didn’t get this far in his thinking.  
  
_I’m good with whatever you’re good with._  
  
_One of us has to make a decision._  
  
JT can hear the laughter in Alexander’s words. It’s the same laughter he’s heard over the past week at lunch whenever Tyson says something stupid.  
  
_5280 Burger Bar is close._  
  
_Isn’t that downtown on the mall?_  
  
_Yeah, but it’s got fried pickles._  
  
JT thinks it’s a great selling point because Alexander’s reply comes shortly after.  
  
_That works! See ya soon!_  
  
It’s ended with a thumbs up. JT doesn’t want to read too much into it, but he can’t stop himself. Why just a thumbs up? He could’ve used any other emoji. Why did he use that one? It doesn’t convey any emotion, any hint of his feelings. JT always picked up on Alexander not wanting to share those things, but he’s never hidden them from JT, or at least, that’s what JT used to think. He doesn’t want Alexander to feel like he has to ever hide anything from him.  
  
  
  
He's shifting from foot to foot in the lobby. He keeps glancing at his phone as he waits for Alexander. He’s so nervous that Alexander is just going to ditch him, even if it doesn’t make sense. If he’s learned nothing else about Alexander since they’ve been reunited it’s that he’s a kind and gentle person. He feels a tap on his shoulder, and he whips around. Alexander is there smiling at him.  
  
“Ready?”  
  
JT nods. “Of course.”  
  
“Great. Our Uber is almost here.” Alexander looks down at his phone, and JT leans in to see the Uber map.  
  
“So, how long has it been since we’ve exchanged letters?” Alexander asks.  
  
JT resists the urge to give him the exact number. (It’s 3237 days.) They exchanged a few in eighth grade even though they didn’t have to, but when Alexander went away for Christmas break in December, JT hadn’t heard from him again. “A while,” JT says with a small smile.  
  
“How was high school for you?” Alexander asks.  
  
JT shrugs. “Like it is for everyone I guess. Hard, but had good friends to get me through. Hockey was a big part of that.”  
  
Alexander smiles like they’re sharing a secret. “Yeah. It was nice that it was always there.”  
  
JT nods. “Still is a bit.”  
  
“Did you not play in college?” Alexander asks.  
  
JT shakes his head. He won’t admit that he was sure he’d see Alexander if he did and couldn’t bring himself to put himself in a position where’d they’d be across each other at the faceoff dot. “Nah. I was too focused on school. My parents were a bit upset that I wouldn’t have any athletic scholarships but it wasn’t in the cards for me.”  
  
Alexander nods. He motions with his phone and they start walking to the curb together.  
  
“How was your college hockey?” JT asks.  
  
They slide into the car together. The car is a little small and Alexander’s knee ends up resting on JT’s. Alexander shrugs in answer to JT’s question. “It was okay. I liked staying with it. It was an escape from my studies more than anything.”  
  
“Were you any good?” JT asks, a teasing smile on his lips.  
  
Alexander chuckles. “Nah, I was a fourth-liner. Didn’t get a lot of ice time. But it kept me in shape and kept me sane.  
  
JT nods. “That would’ve been the only reason I would’ve played.”  
  
Alexander hums. “We might have played each other.”  
  
JT nods, trying desperately not to think about it.  
  
Alexander sighs. “We might not have even recognized each other.”  
  
JT swallows harshly. He can’t think of any world where he wouldn’t recognize Alexander, especially if he was standing right in front of him. JT clears his throat. “I can imagine economics being a hard subject to major in.”  
  
Alexander squints at JT. “I suppose. I loved it. Well, I guess I would’ve done something else if I didn’t. It’s this thing…”  
  
JT stops really listening when Alexander starts going into the jargon of his field. He loves the sound and pattern of his voice. It’s so deep and soothing in a way. And just sitting here listening to him go on and on about something he’s passionate about makes him feel warm inside.  
  
Alexander has stopped speaking and he’s looking at JT with a bit of confusion and perhaps fondness? JT isn’t sure. He hasn’t quite learned all the expressions that Alexander’s face makes. “What?” Alexander eventually asks.  
  
JT shakes his head. “Nothing. You’re just very passionate.”  
  
Alexander’s face flushes. “Yeah, well, I’m sure you are too.”  
  
JT shrugs nonchalantly. “Nah. It’s just something I do to make money.”  
  
They laugh together as the Uber pulls up to the curb. The hostess sits them at a table and places the menus in front of them. JT is too busy staring at Alexander’s smile to notice too much.  
  
Alexander bends the menu so he can look at it. “I remember you said you had sisters?”  
  
JT’s heart sings. “Yeah. Two.”  
  
“How are they doing?” Alexander asks. He’s not looking at JT. Instead he’s staring down the menu, but JT can tell from his tone of voice that he cares very much what the answer is.  
  
“They’re good. Both off to college now. Jesse came with me to get settled here in Denver.”  
  
Alexander looks up then. “That’s nice. She still here?”  
  
JT shakes his head. “Left on Wednesday. She had to get back with enough time to settle herself before her semester started.  
  
Alexander nods. “I wish I had known. I would’ve loved to meet her. I remember you two being close when we were little.”  
  
JT can’t help the lovesick smile that appears on his face. “I think she would’ve liked too as well. Maybe next time she’s in town. I could probably convince her to come down for break once.”  
  
“That’d be awesome!” Alexander goes back to studying the menu.  
  
JT picks up his own because he should figure out what he’s going to eat. “What about you? Don’t you have a brother?” JT asks, glancing at the burger menu.  
  
Just then, the waitress walks up to the table to take their drink orders. They both get beers, local brews because that’s the huge thing in Denver, and then JT orders some fried pickles. He can never resist the fried pickles. Alexander doesn’t protest, just gives him a small smile.  
  
“Yeah I do, Colton,” Alexander says as soon as the waitress walks away from the table.  
  
JT chuckles. “Right that was his name. How’s he?”  
  
“He’s really good. Also at school and playing.”  
  
“Good for him.” JT decides on a burger that sounds kind of ridiculous but good.  
  
They spend the rest of their meal catching up just on life. Conversation flows easily, too easily. It makes JT’s heart well with happiness and his stomach knot in butterflies. The beers are delicious, and they occasionally take sips from one another. They share the plate of fried pickles, JT dunking them in ranch and Alexander arguing that they should really have this Cajun dipping sauce from a small restaurant back in Massachusetts. He still eats them with ranch as he argues his point. The burgers look entirely ridiculous and JT insists on eating a bite of Alexander’s because he’s curious, and Alexander does the same. They end up at a bar afterward, drinking more beer and laughing together. It’s the greatest night of JT’s life by far.  
  
They share an Uber back. JT’s place is first. He’s almost drunk enough to invite Alexander inside, but he doesn’t. He just waves good-bye before walking in. He falls asleep with happy dreams of the beautiful man that has fallen into his life again.  
  
  
  
When he walks into the office on Monday, Tyson appears next to him out of seemingly nowhere, a mischievous grin on his face.  
  
“So, how was the date?” he asks, hanging on his words a little bit.  
  
JT scowls and hits him on the shoulder. “It wasn’t a date,” he hisses.  
  
“No, but you wanted it to be,” Tyson counters, pointing an accusatory finger at him.  
  
“So? It wasn’t a date okay?” JT insists.  
  
Tyson sighs and crosses his arms. “Okay, whatever. But, how was it?”  
  
Just thinking about it makes JT’s heart flutter.  
  
“That good, huh?” Tyson asks, laughing a little.  
  
“I didn’t even say anything!” JT exclaims before they get on the elevator.  
  
Tyson’s smile has turned soft. “You didn’t have to, bud.”  
  
JT swallows and the elevator doors close.  


  
The week passes like normal, but also entirely not. It’s normal in the sense that JT goes to work, goes to lunch with Alexander and Tyson, and goes home. But entirely not in the sense that he and Alexander can’t seem to stop talking. It’s like a dam has been broken. They text throughout the workday. They chatter more than Tyson as they walk to lunch. They end up staying late just talking in the lobby. They talk about their families and their time in high school and college. JT feels like he learns more about Alexander in this last week than he did in the year and a half they sent letters to each other. (It’s probably true.) He wants to hold onto every detail as if his life depends on it. Every new fact he learns about Alexander just makes him love him that much more.  
  
Love. Shit. That’s a big word with a lot behind it, but JT can’t think of any other word that could describe how he feels for Alexander, how he’s always felt for Alexander, if he’s being honest with himself.  
  
Tyson rolls his eyes one day at lunch. “You guys are gross. Get a room.” He chomps down on his sandwich, clearly frustrated. JT is blushing furiously. And so is Alexander, who’s refusing to meet JT’s eyes.  
  
Tyson catches JT’s wrist before he gets on the elevator, forcing Alexander to go up without them.  
  
“What?” JT asks, a little annoyed.  
  
“You guys are seriously obnoxious. I know you said it wasn’t a date, but like, what the hell is going on if it wasn’t?” Tyson demands.  
  
JT yanks his arm out of Tyson’s grasp. He rubs the back of his head thinking. “Nothing. We were childhood friends. We’ve just reconnected is all.”  
  
Tyson looks unconvinced. “Whatever. But, you better figure it out before the office gets involved. We’ve brought couples together before. We can do it again.” He huffs and turns to the elevator, leaving JT gaping a little. 

A week later, there’s an office golf day. It’s one of the last few warm days of the year. It’s late September, and JT is anxiously awaiting his first Colorado snow. But until then, he’ll enjoy the Colorado weather.   
  
They are told that they’ll be drawing their partners due to problems last year’s fights over the best golfers in the group. JT ends up with Tyson. Alexander ends up with Sam, one of EJ’s interns over in the tech department, according to Tyson. They get lumped together as a group because “They’re the young ones” quotes from Gabe, assistant president to Bednar. Well, they’ll show them what the young ones can do.  
  
They’re getting their golf cart when Tyson sees the food. He darts off excitedly while the remaining three groan. He comes back with a ridiculous chili dog.  
  
“You’re hands are gonna get messy,” JT says, leaning away as Tyson shoves it into his mouth.  
  
“So?” he asks through a bite. “It tastes good and I’m hungry.”  
  
“Eww,” Alexander coughs out.  
  
Tyson quickly polishes off his hot dog and they get going.  
  
While JT wishes Alexander was his partner, he can’t help but be glad he’s not. Alexander is terrible at golf. And while Tyson isn’t great, he’s doing a hell of a lot better than Alexander is. JT can’t help but giggle along with Tyson as Alexander suffers hole after hole.  
  
Alexander huffs and sits down next to JT in his golf cart while Tyson sets up for his swing. “Why are you making fun of me,” Alexander whines. He leans his head against JT’s shoulder for a moment before sitting upright again.”  
  
“It’s just too funny bud,” JT says, still processing what just happened.  
  
Alexander pouts. JT swallows he’s not sure what’s allowed here. So, he just puts his hand on Alexander’s knee. Alexander tilts his head when he looks at JT, a small smile appearing on his lips. It just makes JT want to kiss him.  
  
“Let’s go, lovebirds!” Tyson shouts from across the green.  
  
JT watches Alexander’s face go pink before he scoots away from JT on the golf cart. JT sighs, wishing Tyson would leave them alone. 

  
JT calls Jesse the next day. He’s beaming as he cooks pancakes and drinks orange juice in his kitchen. He props his phone up against the wall next to the stove as it rings. Jesse’s smiling face appears moments later as JT is flipping his pancakes. 

“Hey smiley. What going on?” she asks.

“Smiley?” JT asks. “Have you looked in the mirror lately? You look like you’re getting laid on the regular.”

Jesse scoffs and tosses her hair behind her shoulder. “I’m probably getting more than you are.”

JT scowls because she’s probably right. 

“Also, don’t tease me with those fucking things. Take them out of my sight,” Jesse demands in a fake British accent. 

“What? This?” JT asks shoving a chocolate chip pancake towards his phone.

“Yes! Screw you! Dining hall food is NOT that good!”

JT chuckles. “How is school going?” he asks, putting the pancake on a plate and flipping another on the pan.

“It’s fine. The team is great too, before you ask,” she says.

“Smartass,” JT mutters. 

“What did you just call me?” she demands jokingly. “So, why did you really call? I’m sure it wasn’t to ask me about school.”

“Do you remember seventh-grade penpals?” he asks.

She makes a face. “Yeah, I guess. Why?”

“Do you remember mine?”

“Why would I remember that?” Jesse asks.

“I had a crush on him,” JT admits after a moment. 

Jesse thinks, making a face at the screen for a moment. “Oh! I think I remember. You two sent letters even after seventh grade, didn’t you?”

JT nods. 

“You were always so excited for those letters. Morgan and I used to tease you relentlessly about it.”

JT nods, blushing a bit. “He works here.”

“Huh?” Jesse asks.

“He works for the same company as me.”

“You’re shitting me!” Jesse gasps.

JT shakes his head and drops the last pancake onto a plate. “He’s really hot, Jess.” He turns off the stove. 

“Yeah?” she asks, smiling as big as he is now.

He nods. He goes to sit, pancake plate and phone in hand. He reaches across the counter to grab his orange juice when he sits. “I think he likes me.”

Jesse raises her eyebrows. “Like friends or…” she trails off, her meaning clear,

JT just nods. “We got dinner last week and went golfing with the company yesterday. We text all the time.”

As if to prove JT’s point, his phone dings with an incoming text from Alexander. He smiles at the sleepy emojis. They’re in response to a picture JT had sent of him preparing pancake batter fairly early this morning.

“You’re gross. I don’t need to see that smile. Put it away,” Jesse scoffs. 

JT blushes again and swipes the notification away. 

“But, I am really happy for you. I hope things turn out for you.”

JT smiles softly at his sister. “Thanks. And same for you, with whoever your hitting.”

Jesse rolls her eyes. “How do you know it’s just one?”

JT hangs up then, not wanting to hear about his sisters sexual exploits, because he knows she’ll tell him if he teases her too much. 

He clicks over to his messages as he shoves a bite of pancakes into his mouth. He giggles at the emojis again and responds.

Sleep in?

What of it? Is Alexander’s immediate reply.

I thought you were a morning person.

What in hell gave you that impression?

JT can’t help but imagine Alexander sleep rumpled, walking into the kitchen just as JT finishes making them breakfast. It makes his heart clench in hope and want.

  
  
He and Alexander hang out again not long after. Alexander winds up at JT’s place after a particularly long day at the office. They order pizza, drink beer, and play Mario Kart. JT feels like he spends the night listing into Alexander’s side.  
  
Alexander is leaning heavily against JT’s shoulder, incredibly drunk off the cheap beer JT keeps in his apartment. He’s not sure if he should let Alexander drive home. They’ve been talking for at least an hour now, blinking Mario Kart screen forgotten about.  
  
Then, Alexander looks up at JT, and JT stops breathing. The look in Alexander’s eye seems so open and so willing. His lips are so plump and when Alexander’s tongue darts out to wet them, JT is pretty sure his heart stops for a moment. He wants to kiss Alexander so bad, and honestly, with the way Alexander is looking at him, he can’t stop himself. So he brings his hand to cup the side of Alexander’s face and lowers his lips to Alexander’s.  
  
It’s magic, the kiss. It’s everything JT ever wanted. Alexander’s lips are soft and plush. They mold gently under JT’s, opening perfectly and invitingly. Alexander’s hand rests on JT’s hip, guiding them closer together on the couch. His feet tangle with JT’s. JT brushes his thumb along the edge of Alexander’s smooth skin and beard.  
  
Then, suddenly, Alexander is gone. The space he once occupied is empty, and JT feels cold. Alexander is panting and shaking, standing a few feet away.  
  
“I should go,” he manages to get out.  
  
He grabs his coat and stalks toward the door.  
  
“Alexander, wait!” JT calls, but it’s too late. He’s already out the door, and it falls shut loudly behind him.  
  
JT struggles to get his next breath in without sobbing. He doesn’t know what happened. It seemed like everything was perfect. He thought it was the next step in where they were. Alexander had been looking at JT like he wanted it. JT leans his head into his hands before the tears fall. How could he have screwed up so badly that the most important person in the world went running from him?  


He shows up to work the next day a little late with bags under his eyes. Tyson looks up when the elevator opens in front of his desk. His eyes widen, and he stands up. JT’s plan is to ignore him and get to his desk without talking to anyone, but Tyson isn’t making that an option. He catches JT’s wrist before he gets too far.  
  
“Oh my god, JT, are you okay?” Tyson asks. “You know you don’t have to be here if you’re sick, right? Sick days are a thing.”  
  
JT shakes his head. “I’m not sick. I’m fine.”  
  
“No, JT. You’re not. What happened?” Tyson guides them over to his desk and makes JT sit in his chair.  
  
“Alexander came over last night,” JT says. His voice sounds dead. It’s rough from the lack of sleep from the night before and, of course, the crying. “I kissed him. He ran out.”  
  
Tyson gasps. “No.”  
  
JT swallows. He can’t do this again. He can’t start crying again. He did this all night. He needs to pull himself together and just get to work. “I’m fine. It’s fine. I just need to go work.”  
  
Tyson puts his hands on JT’s shoulders when he tries to stand. “No. You don’t need to work right now. Go home. You look like you didn’t sleep all night. I’ll come over with ice cream tonight, okay?”  
  
JT doesn’t know how to resist him. So, he just goes down to the parking garage and goes home. He sits on his bed unsure of what to do. Then, he thinks about Jesse. He should call her. He should tell her these things, like he used to, for like, the whole rest of his life.  
  
He grabs his phone and sits back against the pillows. He doesn’t know what the school schedule looks like, but he hopes she’s not in class. He sighs in relief when she picks up on the second ring.   
  
“Hey shit head, what’s up?” Jesse says laughing.  
  
JT can hear her friends in the background. He swallows harshly, stifling a sob. “Nothing. I’ll call later when you’re not busy.”  
  
Jesse must hear something in his voice because she stops laughing and her tone is quiet when she speaks again. “Are you okay?”  
  
“Yeah, yeah,” JT says, trying to make his voice sound normal. He doesn’t want to interrupt whatever she’s doing with her friends. “Call me when you’re free.”  
  
Jesse pauses a moment then says, not to him, “Hey, I’ll be right back.”  
  
JT sighs internally. Of course, Jesse can hear when he’s upset. He doesn’t think there’s anything he could get past her.  
  
There’s no background noise when she speaks again. “Tell me what’s wrong.”  
  
JT chokes on another sob just thinking about it. “It’s Alexander,” he says finally, tears running down his cheeks again. He didn’t think he’d be able to cry today with how much he did last night.  
  
“Bud, what?” Jesse asks,  
  
“I kissed him, then he ran out of the apartment,” JT says, full-on sobbing now.  
  
“Oh, oh,” Jesse says softly.  
  
“I don’t know what I did. I – I thought we were connecting. I guess I thought… well, it doesn’t matter what I thought because it’s not in line with what he thought.” JT stutters chest clenching. “I don’t think we’ll be able to fix this.”  
  
“How do you know?” Jesse asks.  
  
“The look on his face before he ran out of the door,” JT says, voice muted and broken. JT never wants to see that face again, but he sees it in his mind every time he closes his eyes. It’s the face that will haunt him for the rest of his days. He’ll never be able to unsee that hurt and betrayal and confusion on Alexander’s face.  
  
Jesse is silent for a moment. “When did this happen?” she asks softly.  
  
“Last night,” JT says. He rolls onto his side. He just wants to curl into a ball and sink into the mattress. He doesn’t remember why he thought calling Jesse would be a good idea.  
  
“Then I wouldn’t be so sure. I don’t want to get your hopes up for nothing, but JT, what if Alexander didn’t know what he was feeling and the kiss just scared him? Maybe he wants this he’s just worried about losing a friend.”  
  
JT swallows. “I don’t know…”  
  
“Don’t dismiss it offhand. Keep your head open, bud. You might see him come around.”  
  
JT hums, not really sure he’s got the mental capacity to handle much else.  
  
“You’re not at work, are you?” Jesse asks.  
  
JT just hums again.  
  
“Well, get some rest. It sounds like you haven’t had much of it lately, if you’re just not going.”  
  
“Okay,” he says softly.  
  
“I’ll call you tomorrow,” Jesse says, copying JT’s soft tone.  
  
He hums.  
  
“Feel better,” she says before they both hang up.  
  
JT drops his phone on the mattress before curling up. He clutches a pillow close to his chest, letting the sobs take over his body.  
  
He doesn’t know how long he cries. It feels like a lot longer than it probably was. He can’t sleep. He doesn’t even feel tired, despite how little (read: none) he got last night. He gets out of bed, feeling stiff and hot. He makes himself some tea before sitting down on the couch. He feels empty like Alexander had just ripped him open and took everything out from inside when he ran from JT. The tea feels good going down his throat and heats his belly. It almost feels like he’s pouring heat back into his heart that feels cold and still. He turns on the TV and plays a show on Netflix. He sinks into the couch and pulls a blanket over himself.  
  
The fatigue of just staying up for so long must get to him at some point because he wakes to his phone ringing, knocking at the door and the “Are you still there” Netflix screen on the TV. He groans as he pushes the blanket off himself. He goes to the door, deciding he can deal with whoever is calling him later.  
  
Tyson is on the other side of the door with two bags in his hand. One is clearly take-out. The other is from King Soopers. Ice cream, JT remembers. Tyson gives JT a sympathetic smile. “Hey.”  
  
“Hey,” JT says. His voice is cracking and rough.  
  
Tyson’s smile drops at the sound. “Fuck man. You sound worse than you did this morning.”  
  
JT rolls his eyes. “Thanks,” he says sarcastically, stepping back into his apartment to let Tyson in. He drops into a stool at the counter bar, Tyson not far behind. He shoves the bag of ice cream into JT’s freezer then sits with him at the bar with the bag of take-out in his hand.  
  
“Do you want to talk about it?” Tyson asks.  
  
JT shakes his head definitively.  
  
“Okay, then let’s watch something.” JT lets Tyson lead him back into the living room. Tyson, thankfully, doesn’t say anything about the lingering Netflix notification screen. Just clicks back in and finds a new show to watch. Tyson hands him a box of Chinese food and some chopsticks. JT takes them gratefully. He doesn’t think he’s seen the show Tyson picked, but slowly starts to remember plot points as the episodes continue. They eat in silence except for the TV, and JT starts to feel better even with the little bit of kindness and companionship that it is.  
  
Tyson settles into JT’s side after he brings over the ice cream and beer. It feels good to be tucked up against Tyson’s side, make the ache in his heart fade for a moment. They sit close together and watch Marvel movies for the rest of the night, eating a pint of ice cream and drinking a pint of beer. 

  
JT does go into work the next day. Alexander avoids his gaze as they ride the elevator. It hurts in a different way than just not being in the same space, or even the pitying looks JT receives from Tyson when the elevator opens again.  
  
Alexander doesn’t come with them for lunch for the first time since they started work together. Lunch is quiet between the two of them. JT feels so emptied out. It doesn’t feel like there’s any life left in him. He has no idea what they would talk about, even if they did try. It’s somewhat comfortable to sit in silence with Tyson. He doesn’t know if Tyson told Alexander not to come to lunch or if Alexander decided on his own. He’s not sure which is worse. He’d appreciate Tyson for thinking of him if he did tell Alexander off, but he also kind of wishes he was here so he could at least see his face. But on the other hand, the pain that it causes JT’s heart to think of Alexander deciding on his own not to come with them to lunch, even though Tyson is also his friend, and it’s been their tradition for weeks, is too much to bear.  
  
The next few weeks go on like that. Work seems dull and boring. JT goes home to drink himself to sleep. After a while, he and Tyson start talking again. Tyson comes over at least once, sometimes twice a week with ice cream and take out. JT still tries to meet Alexander’s eyes whenever they cross paths. But Alexander always looks away too quickly for JT to glean anything from his face or in his eyes.  
  
Naz stops by JT’s desk a lot. JT can’t meet his eyes, even when they’re talking, because the pity there is so clear and heavy. He’s not even sure Naz knows what happened, because truly he doesn’t think anyone does. Maybe Tyson let it leak, but as much as Tyson loves gossip, he doesn’t seem like the type that would let something like this out. It’s probably just how depressed JT seems, or is, really.  
  
He spends a lot of time staring at the picture in his wallet. It becomes like a safety net for him. _This_ Alexander didn’t break his heart. _This_ Alexander didn’t play with him. _This_ Alexander still loves him. He must. JT runs his thumb over the picture, wishing he could still touch Alexander’s soft face, occasionally rough with his scruff.  
  
JT is finally starting to feel the heavy weight on his chest lift after about two weeks. He feels like he can take air in without a struggle. His heart doesn’t seem to stammer every moment he thinks of Alexander. He doesn’t feel the constant need to cry. He doesn’t drink every night. He’s truly starting to feel better. Not good, though. No, JT doesn’t think he’ll ever feel good again, but better. Manageable. Like he could maybe live the rest of his life. Not that he’d ever be able to give his heart away again. It’s in shambles and only one person can put it back together again.  
  
He’s in the lounge getting more coffee. (He practically lives off coffee at this point.) He turns around and startles so hard he almost drops the entire coffee cup. He manages just to only slosh some out onto his hand. He doesn’t feel the pain of the heat. How could he? He’s staring into Alexander’s beautiful eyes. They’re more grey than green today. JT wants to believe it’s because Alexander’s feeling just as poor as he is, but he’s positive it’s something else.  
  
“Can we talk?” Alexander asks. His voice is quiet, almost like he’s nervous. The way he's wringing his hands just goes to that point as well. His eyes seem to look anywhere but to JT.   
  
JT’s heart stutters and his throat makes a noise he’ll later deny. He carefully puts the coffee cup down, afraid the shock will let him drop it. “About what? You made everything pretty clear.” JT’s not proud of his voice at this moment. He’s sure Alexander can hear the waver, the hesitation, and the emerging sob at the base of his throat.  
  
It hurts. It hurts more than anything to stand here looking at Alexander’s sad eyes and think about all the things Alexander has done in these past few weeks to make it clear where they stand now, or rather lack thereof things he does.  
  
They stand there like that for a minute. It’s a minute of torture for JT. Alexander looks as if he doesn’t know what to say or what to do. JT watches him shift, heart cracking even more. Then, Alexander thrusts his hand out in front of him. A small piece of paper between his thumb and first two fingers. JT blinks then looks at what Alexander is holding out at him.  
  
His breath catches in his throat. It’s the picture. It’s Alexander’s school picture. The one that should be in his wallet. JT scrambles to check his wallet, not caring what Alexander thinks of him. It’s gone. His picture is gone. No, not gone. In Alexander’s hand.  
  
“Where did you get that?” JT asks, barely able to get it out with how little breath is left in his lungs.  
  
Alexander swallows harshly, apparently also having some hard feelings about this. “It was just on the floor. I didn’t know where it had come from for a while. But then I remembered when we had to send a picture to our penpals. The thing I couldn’t figure out is why you still have it.”  
  
JT takes a deep shuttering breath. He doesn’t say. He can’t say. He’s already opened his heart to Alexander. What more can he want from him?  
  
“Then, I started thinking about the past few weeks.” He clears his throat. “The good ones, ya know. And I thought maybe it wasn’t all in my head like I thought it was.”  
  
Wait, what? All in his head? What did Alexander think he was imagining? JT’s feelings or what he thought didn’t exist?   
  
Alexander’s hand drops to his side. “Maybe your touches meant something. Maybe going to dinner was more of a date than just friends getting reconnected. Maybe it was what I wanted it to be.”  
  
JT’s breath leaves his lungs. They were on the same page this whole time, but Alexander didn’t know it. JT read everything right, but Alexander didn’t.  
  
“And I just got so caught up in thinking about what it would be like if you really liked me.” Alexander blushes and looks at his feet. “And then I thought about that night. I was really drunk and starry-eyed at you like I am all the time. I first thought you didn’t notice. I thought I initiated the kiss. I thought you hated me. Then, what if you didn’t? What if you actually liked me? What if you actually wanted to kiss me? And what you might feel about me running out like that…”  
  
Alexander looks up, searching JT’s face. JT feels stuck to the floor. He can’t move, can’t breathe, can’t think. Alexander likes him. He really, really, likes him. Alexander swallows audibly and looks away. He puts his hand on the counter and takes a step away.  
  
“It hurt.” JT barely recognizes his voice because he’s so choked up. Alexander’s eyes snap to his. There’s hope in them now. “It hurt so bad. It shattered me.” Alexander takes a step back toward him. “Tyson tried to put me back together. It worked, kind of. But my heart belongs to you. No one else can touch it.”  
  
Alexander gasps.  
  
“Don’t go again,” JT whispers, barely able to make the words appear. He grabs at Alexander’s hand, missing once because he doesn’t want to look away from Alexander’s hopeful eyes.  
  
Alexander shakes his head and squeezes JT’s hand. “I won’t. I promise.”  
  
JT shutters and pulls Alexander close to him. Alexander slowly reaches up and wraps his arm around JT’s neck. It feels like ages before JT’s lips finally meet Alexander’s, they are just as soft, warm, and pliant as before. It feels like JT can breathe again. It feels like coming home. He wraps his other arm around Alexander’s waist and pulls him closer wanting to feel Alexander’s body on his own. He never wants this feeling to disappear.  
  
At the sound of someone clearing their throat. They burst apart. JT is slightly panting. He notices the deep blush going down Alexander’s neck. Man, does he want to see how far down it goes. Bednar is standing in the doorway to the lounge holding a probably empty cup of coffee.  
  
“Glad to, uh,” he coughs a second, “see you guys figured this out. But, I’ll remind you that you are still at work for a few more hours today.”  
  
JT wants to shut his eyes and not see the awkward expression on Bednar’s face. “Yes sir,” he manages.  
  
Next to him, Alexander swallows and nods along. They stand there a moment longer before Alexander and JT bolt out the room. JT pauses for just a moment to grab his coffee and the picture on the counter, then continues running after Alexander.  
  
Alexander beams up at him when they get into the hallway.  
  
“You want to come over tonight?” JT asks.  
  
Alexander nods immediately. “Take out?”  
  
“Absolutely. We should get pizza.”  
  
Alexander hums. “Sounds yummy.”  
  
JT wiggles his eyebrows. “I’ll show you yummy.”  
  
“You fucking better,” Alexander says under his breath.  
  
JT grabs Alexander’s hand before he walks off to his own office. He pulls Alexander in to give him a quick kiss before letting him go again. Alexander squeaks a little and blushes even more (if it’s possible.) JT blinks in awe as Alexander walks away, occasionally looking over his shoulder as he does. It’s that moment when JT realizes Alexander is wearing that stupid shirt Jesse almost made him buy when he first moved to Colorado.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Comments and kudos are lifeblood! I love every single one of you for reading!! xoxo


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